Posts tagged ‘Loneliness’

August 7, 2013

Shadowland

by Teatart

In the silence that encumbers my heart
I see only your face
In the darkness that shadows my nights
I feel only your presence
But ‘tis distanced
Galaxies bearing the awayness of touch
Do you feel my thoughts?
Which ‘tis only of you –
Longing for your return, longing forth to you
Yet still I bleed
For it is my insecurities
That binds this book loosely.
Is it I that you burn for?
Banish these questions!
They haveth not place
But weak is he who ponders forth,
Thus salted is me
For ‘tween flame and ash I wonder
Driving my soul into that of frenzy
Banish these thoughts!
I haveth not time
I pray to you, highest Lord
Deliver him safely to the bosom of my love.

~ Sherrie Dyer

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June 11, 2013

Black

by Teatart

As I sit here silently crying
I feel the emptiness where
Your presence should be
I pray that I will
Never be as you were
Imprisoned by the overwhelming loneliness
A gull resting on the edge of the dock
With no thought to the ‘morrow
But only to the past

I hold your hand
I see your smile
I hear your voice …
“I’ll always love you”
Echoing against the walls
Resounding over and over and over

Why is it then that you left me?
As a father you did wrong,
As a man you did wrong,
Yet you are perfect in every way
Forever etched in the embankments of my memory.

The one and only you will ever be.

~ Sherrie Dyer
(Written in memory of my father:
Terrence (Terry) Lynford Dyer, 2 Mar 1949-5 Jun 1995)

May 22, 2013

Footsteps

by Teatart

I reach out to you
The warmth of your skin
The feel of your lips
Soft and inviting against mine

I cling to your side
The security of your hands
Your fingers entwined in mine
My heart beating in my fingertips

I listen out for your voice
Melodic and inviting to my ears
Even and reassuring
Promising to keep the dark at bay

But you have gone
Withdrawn and departed
Any familiarity shared a mirage
Salt in the abrasions left behind

I retrace my footsteps to find you
But I realise that you were never there
Only an imaginary soul mate
Comforting, appeasing, consoling

I bury your memory
Fresh soil thrown on your grave
Sweet flowers planted at your feet
I am alone again.

~ Sherrie Dyer

April 17, 2013

Crimson tides

by Teatart

Why do I allow you to hurt me?
I put up walls
Yet you break them down
Brick by brick
Cementing my trust
Paving a pathway to deceit

There are no windows to your soul
No shelter from the storm
You feign warmth and mercy
But your heart is cold and cruel
Solidified in stone
Unable to recognize or give love

As a spider spins a web to catch its prey
You thread an ornate tapestry of lies
Your tongue drips golden nectar
Smooth and sweet
A disguise for the bitter aftertaste
Left by your venomous poison

I feel drained, lost and alone
Carving my way through a maze of emotion
Despising my own weakness to resist
Your faux vulnerability
Your façade of brokenness
Mirroring that which I do not want to see

For I am broken too
Fragmented, cracked, fragile
Wanting to believe your love can set me free
Understanding that that can never be
Only one can mend this gaping wound
And only by His crimson love can I be washed clean.

~ Sherrie Dyer

March 5, 2013

A prayer to God

by Teatart

As my heart begins to bleed
I pray to you in earnest
that my voice you shall heed

I ask of you but nought
simply to listen to these words
and to guide me if you ought

I wallow in the loneliness to which I am prone …
but need I tell you this?
For it is to you, and you only, to which I shall these words own

I long and crave for companionship,
for warmth and laughter;
for I have known despair and hardship

She is desolate and cold
and hungry for all who are as I am;
and her prey in a grip of iron she does hold

So Dear Lord
I pray to you tonight
to endow upon me love which I can afford

To help me against those
who cannot understand what my true desires are,
that they one day will see …

You are almighty
you created me – my world
I beg you not to let it crumble around me.

By candlelight
I whisper to you this prayer
AMEN

~ Sherrie Dyer